To whom it may concern

[captain_kite]

I don't care how hungry you are or how lazy you are that you can't pack your own lunch. You do NOT take mine. I hope you choke on it.

I don't know who you are. I don't know where you are. But I will find out eventually. I will find out and I will find you. And I will take great pleasure in killing you slowly.

I will kill you because you are a moron for stealing lunch from not just one, but two very dedicated police officers.

You have been warned.

Comments

[haratetsu.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a very serious matter. The devious thief stealing precious nutrients from members of the top police force of Japan. I'm sure it's gonna become one of the majr cases in our contry's history. You have to be strong guys and catch that sinful trespassor.

[captain-kite.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you find the humor in this. I'm sure, under other circumstances, I would as well. However, I'll be certain to send a picture of the criminal in question once they've been caught.

[haratetsu.livejournal.com]

Aww, don't tell me that monogamy made you lose your good humour. Such a shame~

You know, when you're hungry enough to be grumpy, I could arrange food rations to be sent to you, enough keep you guys and whatever other poor soul that can't even afford a sandwich, fed. That way everyone will be happy and no one gets depenisized decapitated.

So, any suspects yet?

[captain-kite.livejournal.com]

We can't blame monogamy on that. We can blame that he got the last of my Chinsuko. Those are really hard to come by up here.

I'm not going to waste away. It's the principle of the thing. A police officer shouldn't steal things. Plus, those were my special cookies.

I'll let you know when I know anything